What is the purpose of premarital counseling?

what does the bible say?

Premarital counseling helps engaged couples prepare for a lifelong, God-honoring marriage by offering wisdom, guidance, and practical tools. Scripture, particularly in the Wisdom books, highlights the value of wise counsel, especially when making major life decisions like marriage (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 19:20). Marriage partners are for life, so they must underst and the struggles involved in such a partnership that go beyond the wedding day (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Counseling gives couples a safe space to explore important topics such as communication, finances, family expectations, and biblical roles in marriage. It also allows them to identify potential challenges early and build a foundation based on mutual faith and understanding. The Bible also describes the required characteristics of church leaders who are the ones who typically provide premarital counseling; those criteria protect couples seeking counseling by ensuring the counselors fit God’s requirements. When approached with sincerity and biblical guidance, premarital counseling strengthens the couple’s readiness for a Christ-centered union.

from the old testament

• Proverbs 15:22 speaks about the benefit of having wise counsel: “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” Premarital counseling offers wisdom and insight to help couples succeed in building a healthy, God-honoring marriage.
• Proverbs 19:20 calls us to “listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Premarital counseling helps couples gain wisdom to prepare not just for the wedding but for a lifelong covenant.
• Proverbs 11:14 warns, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Premarital counseling provides protection by helping couples identify and address potential issues early on.
• Purpose: Counseling helps future spouses underst and how to strengthen and support each other in unity and love (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

from the new testament

• Those who offer premarital counseling should be doctrinally sound, be living according to God’s Word, and if married, have a healthy marriage (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:7). Pastors, lay counselors, professional counselors, or older Christian couples often have some sort of premarital counseling training before offering their services to engaged couples. Personal life experience, or experience from counseling other couples (engaged or married), can be a great benefit to premarital counselors as well.

implications for today

Premarital counseling is intended to help an engaged couple be well prepared for marriage. Usually premarital counseling involves a pastor, lay counselor, or mature Christian couple meeting with an engaged couple over several weeks to discuss their relationship and any concerns they may have regarding marriage. The sessions might include some instruction on marriage, but much of the time is spent on questions and conversations meant to help the engaged couple think through their relationship and learn to communicate about important issues in healthy ways. Sometimes premarital counseling is done, in part, through a workshop provided by a church. Premarital counseling should, ideally, help the engaged couple clearly evaluate their relationship and have a solid foundation from which to begin their married lives. Premarital counseling may include teaching on Genesis 1—2, Ephesians 5:22—6:4, and Colossians 3:18–21, among other Scripture passages, to explain God’s view of marriage. When a couple builds their marriage on a shared understanding of what the Bible says about marriage, they are more prepared to succeed together. Often, premarital counseling will include discussions about such practical subjects as managing finances, household chores, plans for children and how to raise them, holiday traditions, and other issues. Those who offer premarital counseling help a couple make many decisions before the couple is confronted by challenging situations. An engaged couple can benefit from the counsel a godly man or woman offers, learning about God’s plan for marriage, and from discussions premarital counseling will invoke. When done with an intent to prepare an engaged couple for a God-honoring marriage, premarital counseling is well worth the time and effort.

Recap

understand

• Premarital counseling prepares couples with biblical wisdom for a lasting marriage.
• Premarital counseling helps address key topics like communication, finances, and roles.
• Godly counsel strengthens unity and readiness for a Christ-centered life together.

reflect

• How are you seeking godly wisdom and counsel as you think about your future marriage?
• In what areas of your life—communication, expectations, or spiritual growth—do you feel most in need of preparation for marriage?
• How open are you to learning from others about marriage, and how do you handle feedback about your readiness for it?

engage

• What is the importance of premarital counseling for couples to prepare well for a Christ-centered marriage?
• What are some of the most important topics you think couples should discuss during premarital counseling, and why?
• How have you seen premarital counseling impact marriages—for better or worse—in your community or church?