What is the role of the pastor’s wife? Does a pastor’s wife have a particular duty or role?

what does the bible say?

The Bible never assigns a formal ministry role to the pastor’s wife. A pastor’s wife is important, but not because of any expected position she is to have in the church. Instead, she is free to serve God in the ways in which He has gifted her and the opportunities that are available. A pastor’s wife’s duty is to be faithful to Christ and to partner with her husband, both in leading a godly home and supporting him in his role. While some churches expect a pastor’s wife to serve as an unpaid staff member, the Bible places no such burden on her—her ministry beyond her family is voluntary, not mandatory. Rather than demanding more of her, the church is called to support her, honor her unique pressures, and allow her to serve freely as God leads.

from the old testament

• The Old Testament does not discuss the role of a pastor’s wife.

from the new testament

• First Timothy 3:2 notes that an elder should literally be a “one woman” man (also Titus 1:6). This refers to a man who is known for a faithful marriage relationship with his wife. This would, of course, also mean his wife is known for a faithful relationship with her husband.
• First Timothy 3:4–5, continuing the qualifications of an elder, says, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (also Titus 1:6). Therefore, the pastor’s wife is also expected to help manage her children and household in a godly manner. It is clear a pastor’s wife should be a follower of Christ. It would be difficult to support a husb and as a pastor and raise godly children if a woman is not herself a follower of Christ.

implications for today

Beyond the expectations listed above, nothing else is specifically mentioned regarding the role of the pastor’s wife. The traditional stereotypes of the pastor’s wife as piano player, children’s ministry director, or women’s ministry leader are not found in Scripture. In fact, priority is given to her relationship with her husb and and children, rather than to other church ministries. Many times, the wife of a pastor struggles with a church that expects far more than is possible or reasonable from her. She is expected to attend every meeting, serve hours each week, offer godly wisdom, and serve as a model of spiritual maturity. However, the pastor’s wife deals with the same issues as every other Christian wife, in addition to the pressures of church ministry. It would be more accurate to say a pastor’s wife needs more support from the church, rather than that the church needs more hours of work from her! Rather than expecting “two employees from one salary,” as some churches dem and of a pastor’s wife, expectations should be lowered to a more reasonable level. If a pastor’s wife is a growing Christian, supports her husband, and provides Christian nurturing to her children, her involvement in other areas of church ministry is strictly voluntary. The local church can also work to provide times of rest for couples in professional ministry, pray for the wife of the church’s pastor, and encourage the pastor’s wife in her important and unique role.

Recap

understand

• The Bible does not assign a formal church role to the pastor’s wife.
• A pastor’s wife’s primary calling is to follow Christ, support her husband, and care for her home faithfully.
• Any ministry a pastor’s wife chooses to be involved with is voluntary, not expected or mandated by the Bible.

reflect

• What expectations do you have on your pastor’s wife, and how do you determine if they are biblical?
• How might you adjust your thinking if you’ve assumed a pastor’s wife should serve in certain ministries simply because of her husband’s role?
• How can you better support your pastor’s wife as she follows Christ and cares for her family?

engage

• What challenges arise when churches place expectations on a pastor’s wife that Scripture does not require?
• How can a church create a culture that values a pastor’s wife’s spiritual health, rather than her productivity?
• What practices help a congregation honor the unique pressures a pastor’s wife carries without demanding extra roles from her?