Should Christians engage in ‘friendship evangelism’?

what does the bible say?

Friendship evangelism, often called lifestyle or relational evangelism, emphasizes building relationships and demonstrating Christlike love to influence others. While it rightly values kindness, integrity, and a godly example, it falls short if it stops at silent witness. Scripture calls Christians not only to live as lights in the world (Matthew 5:14-16) but also to actively proclaim the gospel (Matthew 28:19-20; Romans 10:14-17). God’s people must guard against relationships that compromise their devotion (Leviticus 20:26; Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Proverbs 13:20). The New Testament also cautions against forming intimate bonds that blur spiritual boundaries with unbelievers (James 4:4; 2 Corinthians 6:14), yet affirms that we are to love all people (John 15:12; Romans 5:8). True evangelism balances loving others with faithfully sharing the message of salvation, modeling Christ’s love in word and deed so that people not only see the difference in our lives but also hear the gospel that can bring them to faith. Friendship alone cannot save; it must be paired with bold proclamation for the fullness of God’s calling in evangelism.

from the old testament

• While God’s people should model His love and point others toward Him, they must also guard against close alliances that might weaken their devotion. This principle is seen in ancient Israel, where God forbade His people from intermarrying with the pagan nations (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). God knew that such marriages would turn people away from worshiping Him to worshiping idols—which is exactly what happened.
• But God wanted His people to be “a light to the nations” (Isaiah 49:6) and indicated that foreigners who lived among the Israelites and wanted to worship the true God, could do so (Exodus 12:48-49, 23:12; Numbers 15:14). Note that foreigners had to conform to Israel’s worship—not the other way around.
• Proverbs warns us to choose our companions wisely: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). So believers who practice friendship evangelism should be on guard against being influenced away from the truth.

from the new testament

• The basis for friendship evangelism is in the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus said (Matthew 5:14-16), “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
• While friendship evangelism draws from biblical principles, we must be careful about forming deep, binding friendships with unbelievers that could compromise our spiritual integrity.. James 4:4 warns, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” Likewise, 2 Corinthians 6:14 cautions, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
• However, those passages do not forbid kindness or genuine love toward unbelievers. In fact, Scripture commands us to love all people—believers and unbelievers. Jesus told His disciples, “Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12), and He demonstrated His love by dying for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). Loving unbelievers and cultivating close, intimate friendships that blur spiritual boundaries are not the same, and the distinction matters for faithful witness.
• Jesus commanded His disciples to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). One cannot follow this comm and yet silently wait for an opportunity to share the gospel or for someone to ask about it. Romans 10:14 says “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” Later, in Romans 10:17, we are told that “faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” Faith doesn’t come by all Christians behaving well, but by Christians speaking the gospel.

implications for today

Friendship evangelism is also known as lifestyle evangelism and relational evangelism. The basic thought underlying friendship evangelism is to establish a friendship with an unsaved person to one day share the gospel with him/her. People have differing views on what friendship evangelism is, such as, 1. The Christian establishes a relationship before addressing the unsaved person’s need for a Savior. 2. The Christian lives a solid, righteous life—a living testimony—before others. Observers desire that kind of life and ask about how to achieve it. When the question is asked, the gospel is shared. 3. The Christian lives a righteous life in the world, not saying anything or planning to say anything directly about the gospel. Friendship evangelism observes one comm and of Jesus, but it ignores another. We are to live a godly life, but we are also to tell others. Christians should do both: be a light in the world, and point people (actively, not passively) to Jesus. The Great Commission calls us to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19), which requires both actions and words. Living with integrity opens the door, but sharing the gospel clearly invites others to salvation. True evangelism means modeling Christ’s love and boldly proclaiming His truth so people not only see the difference in our lives but also hear the message that can save their souls.

Recap

understand

• Friendship evangelism values example but cannot replace proclamation.
• Boundaries matter in relationships with unbelievers.
• True evangelism balances love and boldness.

reflect

• How are you balancing living a Christlike life with actively sharing the gospel in your relationships?
• How might your friendships with unbelievers challenge or strengthen your devotion to God?
• Where have you relied on silent witness rather than boldly proclaiming Christ, and how can you grow in courage to speak the gospel?

engage

• How do we distinguish between showing love to unbelievers and forming relationships that compromise our spiritual integrity?
• How can living a godly life open doors for evangelism without neglecting the need for verbal gospel proclamation?
• How can we encourage both authentic Christlike and relationships and bold sharing of the gospel in practical ways?